Chapter 3 – The Founding of Tent City - Survival Is Not Guaranteed

Big Tent posing for the first day of Tent City - he wants to his identity remain unknown so as his parents don't find out about his condition. 

Just as the first settlers of the new world founded Jamestown, Big Tent and I were off to settle Tent City.  Just as death was constantly hovering over Jamestown, Big Tent and I knew that the Grim Reaper may visit one of us during the winter.  After the second night of settlement, I came down with a nasty cold and horrible coughing fits.  I wrote out my will by the candlelight:

Big Tent – to you I leave my most prized possession, my tent.   I won’t be around to see the day when you find Mrs. Big Tent, but I hope it may serve as a bedroom for all of the Little Big Tents you and your wife have in the future. 

Dad – to you I leave forgiveness.  Although you forced your unfulfilled dreams of becoming the next great white NBA player on me, I forgive you.  I no longer dwell on the nights when you would verbally abuse me when I missed a shot while practicing in the driveway, or when you spank me with the belt after losing high school basketball games.  Maybe one of your other sons can become what I couldn’t.

Mom – to you I leave the love of your first born son.  I don’t have much in terms of worldly possessions, but I did manage to get a personal portrait made and framed at JC Penny’s.  Please remember me.

To my younger brothers – to you I leave advice.  Everything I have learned in life I learned from the Rocky movies, specifically Rocky through Rocky IV… not so much the 5^th Rocky; that one was a disappointment.  I would even suggest the recently released “Rocky Balboa,” there is a killer scene in which Rocky inspired me to keep fighting in life. (See this link: Rocky's inspirational speech to his son)

Nana & Papa – you are old and will probably be right behind me.  We should hang out soon in heaven.

Fortunately, Big Tent knew of an ancient Egyptian remedy that involves mixing Captain Crunch, Pop Rocks, and Classico tomato alfredo pasta sauce into a topical cream to be applied to the face in similar fashion to William Wallace.  I recovered within minutes and felt better than ever.

Freeeeeedom

It wasn’t long until Jack Frost came to town and brought a foot of snow with him.  On December 6^th, 2009, Tent City was deep in the snow.  Our only sources of heat were the beautiful babes that we could gather with us in our tents… we were freezing.

Big Tent and I knew that we were in for a long winter unless we got girlfriends or engineered some type of heating system.  After considering the fact that we lived in tents we figured our best chance of warmth was with a heating system.  (Big Tent will lay out the science behind of our heating system in the next entry)

 The view from my front door after the first snow

God bless America!

As Tent City began to settle it was time to develop the foundation of a great nation.  We began writing out the details of our government and constitution.  Tent City would be a place where mankind could live in peace and prosperity.  They would be free from tyranny and dictators.  However, we first had to break free from our oppressive mother country – my dad, who owns the property where Tent City has been established.  He began to impose ridiculous and burdensome taxes upon us, we would not stand for it.  It was time to declare war. 

We had no basis of funds to support our war efforts; we needed a source of revenue to help us fight our cause.  Eventually we found an abundant source off of which to base our economy – men’s dress shoes.  Big Tent and I leveraged our resources to establish the next shoe dynasty: Shoeconomy.com (check it out! It’s for real!).

Today we find ourselves in the midst of this great struggle.  Although we may be the underdog, we shall triumph in victory.